No More Tangles by Johnson & Johnson
Yeah, that’s right. I still use this stuff. What of it? You would use it, too, if the stuff growing out of your head was comprised not so much of “hair” as it is tiny little threads of the very brittle and extremely flat variety that seem to fuse to each other in tiny little knots at the slightest hint of a cross-breeze. My Mom used to use this stuff on my hair when I was little, and I remember because there was a picture of a little blonde girl in 70s-era clothing on the bottle, and I thought, “Wow, that girl looks like me, kinda. What are the odds?!” Because I didn’t know then that little blonde girls are kind of like the golden retrievers of childrens’ grooming products: totally overexposed and entirely interchangeable in the language of mass market packaging. Of course, now the No More Tangles packaging is a little more culturally inclusive, and also a little less embarrassing of a purchase for the thirty-something woman with no female children, sneaking down the kiddie hair products aisle and buying yet another bottle of this liquid gold in its tasteful, seafoam green packaging.