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Labor Day Meme That I Copied off The Stiletto Mom who Copied off Some Other Chick–Now With PIX!!

Labor Day Meme That I Copied off The Stiletto Mom who Copied off Some Other Chick–Now With PIX!!

Look, like I told Mary Anne (aka The Stiletto Mom), I’m too burned out and lazy today to come up with my own topic for a post, so today is as good as any to copy other people’s ideas participate in a meme.

What is a meme? Well, I’ll tell you something–it means something a fuck of a lot different to an English academic than it does to an internet nerd. Since you’re not probably interested in what it means to an academic, let’s stick with the internet nerd definition. A meme is defined by Wikipedia to be:

any thought or behavior that can be passed from one person to another by learning or imitation. Examples include thoughts, ideas, theories, gestures, practices, fashions, habits, songs and dances. Memes propagate themselves and can move through the cultural sociosphere in a manner similar to the contagious behavior of a virus.

Sounds appealing, no? A cultural virus? Sign me up!

But as far as I can tell a blogging meme is a thing where somebody comes up with an idea that involves questions and personal answers, and you read it, answer the questions yourself, and then you pass it on to everyone you know. Kind of like a writing prompt crossed with a chain letter. But less threat of violent death or kharmic retribution if you don’t participate, and like eight thousand times geekier (if that is possible).

Naturally, I’m game.

This meme was started by Shannon at Rocks in My Dryer and continued by many people, including the aforementioned Mary Anne. And, let’s see, it’s labor day, so it’s about, you guessed it, labor.

How did you know you were in labor?
Funny you should ask. I was finishing up brunch at the Ritz Carlton in Pasadena (which is now the Langham Huntington Hotel and Spa Pasadena, but this changing of hands is completely unrelated to me or any of my actions, as my lawyers will attest) with my husband, sister-in-law, two of my nieces, and my father-in-law.

The extended Right-Clicks were visiting from the east coast, and we had joked that, since I was so close to delivery anyway, it would be nice if the baby would come on that one weekend they were here. Otherwise, it would be a long time before any of the extended family could see the baby. But it was three weeks early, so this was mostly a joke.

Mostly, because by this time I had pretty much had it with pregnancy. Well actually, I had pretty much had it with pregnancy after about two weeks, but at this point I had pretty much had it AND was pushing 200 pounds. Taking pity on me, Mr. Right-Click brought me some sushi from the buffet, since I had to give up raw fish for the duration of the pregnancy to please the cover your ass medical malpractice attorneys highly trained medical team in charge of my prenatal care. This had been a source of great contention between me and Mr. Right-Click, along with whether I had to quit drinking Diet Coke and coffee, consuming copious amounts of Equal and other artificial sweeteners, and mainlining crack and heroin.

But these petty disagreements are commonplace among expectant couples.

Anyway, so Mr. Right-Click clearly had figured out that it was freaking time already for this dude to make his grande entrance, and a little raw fish this late in the game wouldn’t be any harm. So I chowed down, and after we finished brunch, I stayed behind with my sister-in-law to hang out for awhile when Mr. Right-Click took the nieces to do something fun and avuncular the details of which I cannot remember now. So my sister-in-law and I stop by the bathroom at the Ritz Carlton, which is all fancy schmancy, and I’m in the stall, and I’m thinking, “WOW, did I drink a lot of water or what?!” Because it’s like that scene in Austin Powers where he wakes up from being frozen for thirty years, and he’s peeing for a full ten minutes. So I’m waiting, and waiting, but it’s not stopping.

So I say, “Uh, Mr. Right-Click-Sister? What is it like, when, uh, your water breaks?”
And she says, “WHAT?”
And I say, “It just seems like I couldn’t have drank that much water.”

And so it went that Mini’s signal to me that he was ready to be born was his first taste of raw yellowtail from the Ritz Carlton brunch–once that magical nectar crossed the placenta, Mini was like, “Look out world, here I come, and have a plate of that shit waiting for me when I get there!”

How long were your labor(s)?
Almost exactly 24 hours, from cloudy water on the polished marble floor of the Ritz-Carlton bathroom, to bloody mess on the laminate flooring of St. John’s in Santa Monica.

Where did you deliver?
At St. John’s Hospital in Santa Monica, also known as the birthing place of Suri Cruise. But I assure you my birthing of Mini was FAR from a Scientological Silent Birth.

No narcotics, but oh yeah thank you sir may I have another on the epidural. After about 18 hours of sluggish, semi-labor, they were going to start the Pitocin, so I called for the anesthsiologist STAT. Best decision I made during labor.

No, thankfully. My labor was only mild on its own, so we had prostoglandins put in overnight to help things along. I think this is what enabled me to avoid a C-Section–that and the luck that the pitocin worked and my body was cooperative.

Who delivered?
Dr. Sheck E. Green. Just kidding, but my OB is an Israeli, and I liked him because he was no bullshit. He walked in at about 10am, took a look, and said, “So? You vant to have this baby now?”

And so we did.

Comments (11)

  1. Sep 1, 2008

    My due date was actually on Labor Day 2005, which means I had 24/7 Katrina coverage on the TV for the last 10 days I waited for Mimi to arrive. To say I was ready for labor (or any another distraction in my life) to start would be the understatement of the century.

  2. Sep 1, 2008

    How fun! I just recounted my second blessed event – first was all medically controlled and just plain boring (but very, very fast!).

    God bless sushi!

  3. Sep 1, 2008

    Oh…HELL YES…you did this meme better than me!!! Great story, you kill me and thank you so much for the shout out. Adore you, but you already knew that. 🙂

  4. Mr. Right-Click
    Sep 1, 2008

    A few things Anna left out of the story:
    1. She was a very brave soul. We read having a picture to concentrate on to relieve the pain was a good idea. So much of the time she had a picture of our golden retriever (a large head shot with her tongue hanging out) right by her side. That lightened the load a little.
    2. She also had a fan from Brookstone which was a godsend. She did not need it very much but when she did she was grateful.
    3. She was totally against going to any classes but every Sunday afternoon we did and, as it turned out, it was very helpful in making key medical decisions.
    4. Anna did it! I was and will always continue to be so proud of her.

  5. Sep 1, 2008

    @Mary Anna: I fixed your link, it was not working for some reason but it’s all OK now. Your story was great, too, FAST labor, who can argue with that.

    @Mary Anne: thanks for the idea! I really enjoyed your post, which is what inspired me to continue the meme in the first place. But of course will take your compliments anyway!

    @readers: maybe some more of you with either Mary or Anne or Anna or some combination thereof would like to contribute, too? (just kidding, it just always cracks me up that I have two loyal readers with such close names to each other, and that part of their names are close to mine.)

    @Mr. Right-Click: Thanks, honey! I love you.

  6. Sep 1, 2008

    It’s Karma…we were meant to read eachother….Mary Anna? I’m heading to your blog next…aren’t we lucky to have Anna to connect us? Yes! 🙂

    BTW….Mini does not look like an alient….such a perfect child!!!

  7. Sep 1, 2008

    Shit I hate typos…he is neither an alient (as referenced above) nor an alien…he is not any type of space baby, just adorable. That’s it, done for the night…..byyyeeeee.

  8. Sep 2, 2008

    I have three minis of my own. For the first two, against my wishes and in spite of my threats, I did not get an epidural. For *3, when I went in to the ob/gyn at seven weeks for the bloodtest to confirm that I was pregnant, I asked to be hooked up for the epidural immediately. I didn’t get it that quickly, but did get it shortly after being admitted for an induced labor, which turned out to be very little labor at all. Quick, easy, and much more civilized.

  9. Sep 2, 2008

    Oh, every pregnant woman’s fear: having her water break at the fancy-pants Ritz Carlton!! I hope things didn’t get too soggy there for you! The picture is ADORABLE!!! Look at your new little snugli!! So sweet!

  10. Sep 2, 2008

    My labor started the same way, I was all “when will I stop peeing??? ……oh” I love hearing labor stories, I guess much in the same way vets trade war stories.

  11. Sep 3, 2008

    All beautiful babies start out as aliens! My first started out looking like the nerdy male teacher from “Clueless.” He quickly shaped up to be the first most cutest baby in the universe. Note: Thing 2 came out looking just like he does today, a year+ later!

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