In the Tradition of the Pioneer Woman–Announcing the First ABDPBT Sucky Sweepstakes!
[singlepic=76,320,240,,right]Don’t worry, the gloom and doom will continue tomorrow–but today I’d like to announce the latest in a series of transparent self-promotion techniques: A SWEEPSTAKES GIVEAWAY!! I think you know by now that I’m not above copying what works for other people in order to advance my own agenda. It’s the American way, and oh yeah I’m going for the gold! And besides, as a former academic I can assure you that all knowledge is shared. Whether the people who are sharing know it or not.
In my continuing quest to understand the widespread appeal of the Pioneer Woman, I was over there perusing the archives when it hit me! that she might have been tapping into the most primal of primal desires in her audience, viz. that drive for FREE STUFF. Like Oprah, the Pioneer Woman is always giving away free stuff. And sure, now she gets shit like HP Printers and cameras from PR companies to give away, but she started out small–her first contests consisted of cleaning out her junk drawer. Do you know that the Pioneer Woman’s page views are–aw, shucks–like double dooce‘s? Sure, content is important, but based on these statistics and the meteoric success of Oprah, I think that perhaps giving shit away is more important.
So listen, I have a thing with gift cards. I am pretty good about using gift cards, but it drives me nuts that there will be money left over on things and then you either have to buy more than you wanted to buy to use it up, or lose that extra money. So the store you buy it from is like, guaranteed to make extra money off of you–and that’s not even counting all of the gift cards that people buy and then lose, or that languish in somebody’s junk drawer indefinitely.
So I’m left with glut of gift cards languishing around with random amounts on them, and aren’t these something that somebody else might use–like if you are going to buy something from Macy’s anyway, wouldn’t a $43.30 coupon sound nice?
So I thought and thought what I should do to run this contest . . . how can I decide who wins this? So I came up with a contest that deploys a practice near and dear to my heart: the ongoing quest to prove that people are stupid and getting stupider. This contest, aka “This Week in Stupid,” requires this of you:
by this time next week (Wednesday, August 20, 2008, at 10:00 a.m., you can post your suggestions for news stories/popular culture references that you think take the prize for stupidity this week. You may use the news as a source, or simply relate something that you observed, or something that happened to you that you think reflects a wider cultural paradigm of stupidity that needs to be dissected so that it might be eliminated. It is up to you to sell it to me, and I will absolutely be biased in my judging of people, so you’re best off psychoanalyzing my particular dislikes in popular taste.
So now, in the immortal words of Jeff Probst, wanna know what you are playing for?
The aforementioned Macy’s merchandise credit card in the amount of $43.30.
Secondly, a Starbucks card in the amount of $3.80:
Thirdly, a bliss card in the amount of $15.61:
That’s right, a veritable cache of gift cards totaling over $62! A whole $0.71 over $62, in fact!
[Edit: Oh yeah, and you should post your entries in the comments to this post. Just wade through the accusations of theft of intellectual product, & c., and be sure to leave your email so I can contact you.]